Self-Love Interview with Lydia McCartney
"Body insecurity consumes a lot of head space so once you take that back you have free space to think about important things like enjoying life."
Lydia is self-love coach who helps women to connect with themselves and love their body unconditionally. On her Instagram @selflove.lydia, she shares her tips how you can practice self-love, feel powerful and love yourself more.
Check out her private self-love coaching here!
Do you have a personal story that you can share with our audience about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self acceptance?
My struggles have been ongoing since I was a early teenager. I was a big child in primary school, at the age of 14/15 I rejected my body and would spend countless moments crying to my mum about what I seen. In my early 20s I’ve been in incredible shape yet insecure with body dysmorphia and a unhealthy, restrictive relationship with food that would cause me to binge eat.
I’ve used my body to determine my worthiness for as long as I can remember up until 2018 when I had a spiritual awakening and developed my sense of self love. It changed when I injured myself but my mindset caused me to push through it and I really hurt myself. I realised my body was in a battle with itself, with my mind and I was chasing a never ending goal. After that I stepped back from everything, packed a backpack and travelled the world.
How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?
It helps with everything because you no longer worry about judgement or how you look. Body insecurity consumes a lot of head space so once you take that back you have free space to think about important things like enjoying life.
When we have insecurities about our bodies it creates a barrier to connect to people deeply the fear and mean girl voice is always there questioning if we deserve it or wondering what they think or telling us we need to be seen as our best. Your sex life opens up, your head space is lighter and people see you for who you are. Beautifully you in your magic.
What are the strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself?
I understand that I have 2 choices everyday. I can chose self love/self kindness or I can slip back into old limiting behaviours. I made a promise to myself when I was at my lowest that I would never go back to this space, I wouldn’t never hurt myself emotionally the way I had been for so long by never believing I was enough.
So everyday I observe my thoughts, I notice when I’m not being kind to myself and I change that. I honour how I’m showing up so I give my body and mind what it needs rather than over forcing myself to do things that create frustration inside.
I work on myself everyday in some form whether it’s exercise, meditation, journaling, movement and I also add some form of pleasure into my day to make me feel good and feel connected. The biggest thing we can do is gain control over our thoughts, once you do that you take back the power and you put yourself first.
How do you use social media when we can often feel negativity surrounding the internet?
I only follow people who make me feel good and I don’t spend a lot of time scrolling. I never ever go on the explore page because it’s sends me into a spiral of self compassion if I’m not feeling great. I use it to empower me and learn and the people I follow allow me to control this.
What is your advice for women who are looking to increase their body confidence?
It’s possible for everyone to improve how they feel about their body, I think that’s the most important thing for people to understand.
My advice is notice how you speak to yourself, write down the thoughts you have about yourself and your body then sit with it for a moment, let it land and let yourself see visually the things you’ve told yourself for years.
Connect to the gratitude for your body, honestly we are so caught up in the physical appearance and what we lack that we overlook how incredible our bodies are for keeping us alive. So anytime you notice a negative thought simply say something that feels loving or energetically better, simply thank your body for keeping you alive so you can live, see your children, make more experiences.
I would also recommend journaling on your relationship with your body, connect the dots as to why you dislike your body and why the thing you want is so important (if you believe a size 12 will make you happy, then why? Why this size what does it mean?)
Also understand weight will never make you feel worthy. Your goal post will forever move and nothing will make you feel good enough unless you know deep within you enough as you are.
Treat yourself, or gift our limited edition Self-Love & Chill Self-Care Box to someone. This year on Valentine's Day, we celebrate self-love and body positivity. 💗